Save the 'Dad' Talk....

My wife is now 6 months pregnant. 99% of the people I come in contact with ask me “How’s Erin doing?” Or “How’s the wife doing now?” Or the less communicative people “Wife OK?"

However, I was recently thrown a curve ball: How’s dad doing? I think my exact response was an awkward smile and "uh, good."

But then I thought to myself: Yeah, why not ask me?

Well, probably because I don’t have to gain weight, lose sleep, throw up, not drink beer, buy new clothes, go through labor and so on.

I also didn’t like how ‘Dad’ sounded. Yet. I’m not a dad. When my child is born I will be but not yet. You can’t be a 'dad' unless you have a physical baby. Something that poops and pees and cries and drools. I don’t have one yet so let’s save the ‘dad’ talk. I can't tell my wife's uterus to stop crying so again, let's hold off on 'dad'.

But to answer the question I’m doing just fine. Some people, well my wife, would argue that my life hasn’t changed at all. Not one bit. I beg to differ. It's changed. As much as my wife’s? Well, of course not, but it still has changed.

Just the other day we switched bedrooms. The guest room is no longer the guest room. And I can guarantee that if a baby wasn’t on the way this wouldn’t have happened. It didn’t take a long time to make the change but the baby room transformation has begun.

Names. Not once in my life have I ever thought what might sound cool with the name Stafford. Well, probably because my name is Derek Stafford, and it sounds alright to me. Well, now I'm in charge of naming another Stafford, so much of my idle time is thinking of names. I can guarantee you that 5 years ago, hell, 1 year ago, I never was thinking to myself: hmmmm, does the name James or Emily Stafford sound cool?

Drinking. Can I still drink? Yup. But it’s not the same without my wife being able to. It’s not. I enjoyed being able to drink some beers with my wife and I do feel bad that she can’t. She thinks I just love to drink without her and use her as a ride home. Not true. Well it is nice to have a driver, ha ha, but I guarantee that when my wife gives birth and we do our first post-baby happy hour it’ll be a great time! And it will be the best jaeger bomb ever! That is if we ever go out again.

Nerds. The candy. I haven’t eaten Nerds since I was 9 years old. Now I buy them all the time. Just the other day I ordered a case of 36 boxes of nerds. Why? Because my wife can’t get enough of them. Had a baby not been on the way my last box of consumed nerds would have been August of 1988. As it stands I'm eating watermelon nerds as I write this blog.

The biggest change:? Me. I’ve changed. My wife probably hasn’t noticed because I’m so awesome to begin with but since she’s been pregnant I have tried my damndest to be as helpful, caring, loving as possible. If my wife needs a cup of water in the middle of the night I’m her man. If she needs an onion to make dinner than I’m her man. If she needs a back scratch then I’m her man. If she needs her sink fixed then I call the plumber and he’s her man for a while, then I’m her man. If she needs Del Taco I’m her man. If she needs someone to bitch and moan at then I'm her man. If she needs her towel rack fixed I'm her man.

Ok, so I guess, technically, my life hasn’t changed a ton. But it’s definitely changed a bit. Life is different when a kid is on the way because when a kid is on the way your life is literally weeks away from being totally different. So your life does change. I mean, it has to.

Many people say it’s wonderful. It's a blessing. Greatest thing ever. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m sure it’s wonderful when your changing diapers at two in the morning. So, take ‘wonderful’ and ‘dad’ and put it on hold for awhile ☺


Until Nest Time....

Dad, I mean Derek.

Giving Thanks

First and foremost, Happy Thanksgiving!

Things I’m thankful for but probably take for granted from time to time:

My health.

Being a U.S. citizen.

Having a job.

Having a home.

Being free to do what I want, when I want, usually how I want.

Having a good family.

Having a great set of friends.

Having an awesome wife who appreciates me most of the time.

Being a baseball coach. I really enjoy this part of my life.

Being 72 inches tall.

Murdock and Molly- my two dogs.

Having a retirement plan and health insurance.

God.

10 fingers and toes.

Thick hair.

All my teeth.

Plenty of toilet paper.

3 brother, 2 sisters. This falls under family, but i really enjoy being the oldest of my siblings. I think it's the most important job. I'm thankful I have it.

The ability to gamble. I’m not a degenerate but I enjoy the sportsbook.

Air conditioning in my home and my vehicle.

Food to eat.

A blog to write.


That’s all I got. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Matter of PrINciple....

Most people that know me know about my In-N-Out story/episode. Some people thinks it's stupid or stubborn of me to hold a grudge against arguably the best burger franchice in the history of the hamburger. First off, even though I haven't had In-N-Out going on 11 years, I still claim it's the best burger and fries money can buy. It truly is. The food I don't knock. And the customer service is excellent 99.5% of the time. Unfortunately for me- or for In-N-Out- depending on how you see it, is that one of the times that fall into the .5% percent was a time I was at In-N-Out.

The In-N-Out on Maryland Parkway (UNLV campus) was the store that did it. I had just enjoyed an animal-styled double-double and was going out to my truck to go home. My truck battery was dead. I needed to call someone for a ride or call a cab. This was before I had a cell phone, so I took some change and decided to use the pay phone out in front of the In-N-Out. To my dismay the pay phone was out of order. No biggy. I decided to go into In-N-Out and ask to borrow their phone. I kindly asked if I could use the phone and was told No. I explained that the payphone was broken and the answer was still No. I then asked the employee to see the manager. I was told No, he's busy. Lastly, and I was still being nice, I asked the employee if he could call Triple AAA for me. The answer- No. I was told that I could use the payphone outside several times (even though I stated several times it didn't work) and then I was told 'store policy' was to not let custiomers use the phone.

I wasn't asking for free food or the money in the register and I understand store policies but I thought this was ridiculous. On top of that the guy was being rude to me when he wasn't even busy. Very rare for In-N-Out to not be busy but at this time they weren't. I swore to myself after this experience I would never purchase In-N-Out burger again. I would not give one single cent to the company. To this day I haven't. Do I miss their burgers? At times, yes. It's damn good food. Will I ever go back to an In-N-out? Doubtful.

Many people think it's silly that I do this but it's OK. I think it's a matter of principle and I'm sticking to my guns. And considering how many high caloric choices there are out there I'm sure I'll be just fine without In-N-Out burger. They lost a customer for life. And I'd say that I used to eat In-N-Out about 5X a year. Doesn't sound like much but at 5X a year times $7 bucks a meal that's $35 a year. And take that times 11 years and that's $385 they losy out on so far. I'm sure they'll be just fine without me as I will without them.

Until Next Time.....

Hybrid Parking...Really?

I can't speak for other parts of the country but i'd assume it's happening in other cities, towns, and states. Now, I have a special place in my heart for the handicap and I'm all for helping out expecting mothers but if I want to drive a vehicle that burns regular octane gasoline then so be it!

I'm starting to see special parking spots in parking lots for "Hybrid Cars" and "Low Emissions Vehicles" and the such. Are you kidding me? Seriously!?

Expecting mothers? Fine. I understand. If you are with child then sure, pull up right next to the store.

Handicapped people? Of course and god bless you.

Employee of the Month? Cheesy as hell, but why not? Go for it buddy and congrats to you!

But this whole nonsense of allowing special spaces for hybrids and low emissions and cars that run on corn or whatever is just plain stupid to me. I would venture to say that most of the people driving those cars didn't buy the car for the special spot at the grocery store. Heck, I'd bet most of them didn't even buy the car to save the planet but rather for the long term investment of saving money on gas, that's all. Lord knows they didn't buy the car because of how cool they look because they look stupid.

I just don't get it. You drive a car that's a little safer for the environment so we're going to let you park closer? Doesn't add up to me.

What's next? "Having a Bad Day" parking spot? "Gay/Lesbian" parking spot? "My Husband's Cheating on Me" parking spot? How about "I'm Too Damn Lazy" parking spots or "Expecting Father" spots or even "I'm In a Hurry" parking spots?

I'm not making this up. In the last 3-4 months I've seen either "Hybrid" or "Low Emissions" parking spots popping up all over the place. Grocery stores, business parks, hotels/casinos, etc. It's crazy.

That's All. Thanks for reading...

Those were the Days...These are the Days

I recently turned 31. And the other day I was hanging around a younger, college type crowd. A younger kid asked me if I missed being in college and being in my early 20's. I didn't want to get into a long, philosophical conversation with this 20-year-old kid so I said something along the lines of... "Yeah man, those were the days. Best time of my life...."

But honestly, truthfully, I don't miss those days. And I think it's kind a shame when people say that.

Don't get me wrong. I enjoyed being 18-19 years old. In college, trying to get beer with a terrible ID, girls, balancing school and work. Wondering what party to go to. Good times.

I also enjoyed being 21 and getting to gamble legally, out of the house, still school and work, more freedom. Good stuff.

When I was 23 I started my teaching career and I look back at those days fondly. I was single, my career was just starting, I was coaching, having a great time.

Mid 20's I owned my car outright, my insurance premium was coming down, it took longer to get over a hangover, I felt more comfortable in my job, and life was good.

Late 20's was great too. Even better actually. Got married, making more money, new house. Life's good.

Now, I'm 31. Happily married. Awesome wife. Kid on the way. Still no car payment. Making 40% more money than when I started my career, 2nd job which I enjoy, good friends and good health insurance (something a 20 year old could care less about).

See, the thing is, I don't miss those days when I was younger. They were great times but I actually prefer being 31. My life is better. And I think if an individual works hard and values the right things, then life does get better with age. Or, it can get better with age. I don't feel like I peaked at 22 and I don't ever wish I was in high school again. Those days are gone, and although I look back on them with fondness, but I don't long for them. Life's good for this 31 year old. Hell, bring on 40! No, No. I take that back. Let's enjoy the 30's....

Gig Em!

Last weekend I was in College Station, TX. Home of the Texas A&M Fightin' Aggies! When God created ‘traditions’ he must have been thinking about Texas A&M. My Lord (no pun intended) this school has some traditions. There’s traditions for everything. I can’t verify this but this school probably has a tradition for your first restroom experience on campus. Who knows?

Well, one of the many traditions in AggieLand is this thing called the “ring dunk.” I’m not an Aggie so my terminology might be off but basically it’s a time-honored tradition for when a soon-to-be graduate gets their class ring. It happens when the coed has enough credits (usually junior year some time). Well when the ring comes in the student dunks his/her ring in a pitcher of beer. Usually, several students participate in the “dunk” altogether. It's an event.

The idea is simple. Drink all the beer until you get the ring in your mouth. Try not to puke your face off and then put the ring on your finger. Yeah! It’s preferred that you drink as fast as possible. Puking is expected. From what I have gathered, you're exceptionally ‘cool’ if you can do this quickly and not lose your lunch. Well, this past weekend I got to witness one of these events. It was amazing! I got teary-eyed just watching it. Mind you I didn't know any of the ring dunkers and I get emotional for no reason sometimes.

Heck, I don’t even have a class ring. And as much as I love beer I’ve never slammed a whole pitcher of it. I got chills watching this in action. I saw a couple tough guys puke but all in all it was such a cool thing to witness. I really do have a place in my heart for College Station and I’m glad I married an Aggie. It’s truly a wonderful place and it is truly an experience in itself. The tailgating was unbelievable, as was the game I attended. But the best part of the whole experience is the people. People care for one another and there’s only one thing that matters… a Texas Aggie victory.

I encourage anyone reading this to go to a Texas A&M game. Spend the weekend there. Go to Whattaburger, Chick-Fil-A, Yell Practice, the Dixie Chicken and yell gig ‘em to a couple strangers. I promise you this… you’ll love it!