The Good Life of My Dogs...

The other day I was half asleep on the couch and Animal Planet was on the tube. I heard some lady say something like “poor doggy” and I don’t believe she was talking about this dog’s financial situation and I did notice the dog was in relatively healthy shape, so it got me to thinking…

The majority of dogs in this world (including my dogs) have an amazingly wonderful life. My dogs have it good and I wouldn’t even consider them spoiled.

Luxuries my dogs have that I don’t:

My dogs do not have to work. Not one single day of my dogs' life will they have to log any hours at a job.

Sleep. My dogs get as much sleep as they possibly want. In fact, sleep is one of their “to-do’s” every single day. Must be nice.

Wiping after pottying. Nope. They just get to go and that’s it. No additional work.

Food. Their meals are given to them everyday. No variety? Who cares. They get fed twice a day. No preparation and no clean up. Not too shabby.

Weekends? Every day is Friday for my dogs.

Annoying people. No worries. My dogs can’t understand English and therefore if someone annoys them they can just walk away.

Exercise. My dogs enjoy it but if they don’t do it it doesn’t matter anyway. They’re in great shape no matter what.

Complete joy, happiness and fulfillment. They get this every time someone comes home. It’s like they hit the doggy lottery when the garage door opens.

So don’t ever, ever feel sorry for a dog. Well, don’t feel sorry for my dogs anyway.

Ruff.

Untitled

As strong as you are let me catch you when you fall

Reaching out to stars might not be enough today

Show me your soul through your words

That’s how I want to

That’s how I want to Remember you

I’d like to say hello with no words

I’d like to choose my way but I can’t choose yours

That’s how I want to

That’s how I want to Remember you

We can make it but we’re running short on time

But there’s a chance it may not work

That’s how I want to

Remember us

Baby

My wife's pregnant. I'm excited. I really am. I don't think anyone is ever totally prepared to have a kid. It's life changing (I've heard this 200 times). There's truly nothing that can prepare you for having a newborn. I know this. I have two very good friends that are brand new parents. I can't say I envy them, and I've picked their brains as much as I can, but again I'm sure my wife and I have no idea what's really going to happen until the baby actually comes. Sleepless nights and shooting poop are two things I am not looking forward to.
Many people keep telling me how great its going to be and how my life will never be the same. I keep thinking to myself: yes, I know my life won't be the same. How could it be? Your life can't be the same when you're responsible for another human being. Hell, my life wasn't the same when I got a dog. This I can't imagine! But come hell or highwater, ready or not, the baby is coming. My wife and I have decided to wait to find out the sex. I tell people this and they think we're crazy. I figure why not be surprised? After learning santa is your parents and turning 21 they're aren't too many cool surprises in life. So, we'll wait. We'll be surprised.
I know deep down my wife wants to know but she's being a good sport for me. My wife has a hunch it's a girl so it probably is. We have names we like but I'm sure it'll change. I figure if my wife and I can be half the parents our parents were for us, then our kid will be just fine.
I just hope the baby's head isn't as big as mine or my wife will endure unimagineable pain and will probably file for divorce immediately. I hope my baby likes me. I hope my baby has my wife's smile. I hope my baby likes beef jerky. I hope my baby isn't ugly. I hope my baby likes the Buffalo Bills and the Texas Aggies.
I hope my baby....

I'm Busy

Its been a while since I last blogged. I'd say I was busy but that's such a lame excuse. Isn't it? That's got to be the #1 excuse in the United States of America.

Hey Jim, where were you the other night? Oh sorry, I was busy.

Hey Shannon, can you make it to my house to go over the blah blah...

Oh, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm busy.

Tony, what's up, I haven't seen you in so long...

Sorry bro, I've been busy.

Ok, so were all busy. Everyone in America is busy. We have very little free time because we're so busy. And if were not that busy were going to use that as an excuse every time you ask us where we've been or what we've been up to! It's true.

What's unfortunate is that many of us truly, are that busy. In this country, on average we start working when we are teenagers. By the time some are in our mid to late 20's we've been part of the work force for a decade. And many of us will work until were 65. 30 year career sounds nice doesn't it? But most of us will actually work about 50 years of our lives. And we'll do this with about 1-3 weeks of vacation scattered into those years.

Why? I don't know really. We all have to work at some point or another. The alternative is being broke and homeless. So, unless that's that you want, you'll be working. In some countries the average vacation time per year is 8-12 weeks a year. The only job in the U.S. that has that kind of awesomeness is a teacher. Well, that's why I am one.

But for the other 90% of people its 1-2 weeks off a year for 40-50 years of their livelihood. I hate looking at it like that but it's the truth.

So, I guess we really are busy.

I guess the only solution is this: like what you do. And party like hell on your days off and on your vacations.