Baby

My wife's pregnant. I'm excited. I really am. I don't think anyone is ever totally prepared to have a kid. It's life changing (I've heard this 200 times). There's truly nothing that can prepare you for having a newborn. I know this. I have two very good friends that are brand new parents. I can't say I envy them, and I've picked their brains as much as I can, but again I'm sure my wife and I have no idea what's really going to happen until the baby actually comes. Sleepless nights and shooting poop are two things I am not looking forward to.
Many people keep telling me how great its going to be and how my life will never be the same. I keep thinking to myself: yes, I know my life won't be the same. How could it be? Your life can't be the same when you're responsible for another human being. Hell, my life wasn't the same when I got a dog. This I can't imagine! But come hell or highwater, ready or not, the baby is coming. My wife and I have decided to wait to find out the sex. I tell people this and they think we're crazy. I figure why not be surprised? After learning santa is your parents and turning 21 they're aren't too many cool surprises in life. So, we'll wait. We'll be surprised.
I know deep down my wife wants to know but she's being a good sport for me. My wife has a hunch it's a girl so it probably is. We have names we like but I'm sure it'll change. I figure if my wife and I can be half the parents our parents were for us, then our kid will be just fine.
I just hope the baby's head isn't as big as mine or my wife will endure unimagineable pain and will probably file for divorce immediately. I hope my baby likes me. I hope my baby has my wife's smile. I hope my baby likes beef jerky. I hope my baby isn't ugly. I hope my baby likes the Buffalo Bills and the Texas Aggies.
I hope my baby....