Why do I watch The Bachelorette (or The Bachelor for that matter)? Why do I go back to watching it every season? I hate the show's premise, and I can't stand the bachelorette this season. (She's so blah!) They say the same stuff every season. Basically it's a show about finding a spouse. Mind you, it starts with one hopeful cheese ball- ballette- and 25 strangers. 6 weeks, a couple steamy dates and a few roses, and presto- a happy and long marriage! And now after 12 seasons of this crap and only 1 successful marriage from it, you'd think the producers would be like "hmmm, maybe this isn't the way true love is found?"
They put an enormous amount of pressure on these people to get married. The last show is the big "proposal" episode. It's like witnessing a car accident. You don't want to watch it, you know it's going to be bad, but you just have to watch. It's sad because after every season it's pretty obvious it's not going to work out. It rarely does. But that's Hollywood, that's TV.
After watching yet another opening premiere of this show the other night a few things came to mind.... I'm glad to say I met my wife at a bar in Las Vegas and not on an island in Tahiti. And I'm glad we went on dates to RedRobin and Wendy's rather than ropelling down a mountain into a secret island where there's a secret pool covered in roses and violins serenading us while we akwardly say to each other: "I'm so glad you're here with me. I feel that this is love. My heart is smiling for you. Your eyes are gorgeous."
Now, my wife might say "Hey, why don't we do that? Why don't we go on helicopter rides while sipping champagne?"
And I'd say "Darling, that's not real life but I love you!"
Real life is: waking up in an Iron Maiden T-shirt with your beautiful wife next to you, smiling, then roling over and bam!--your 80 pound dog is licking you. Real life is eating taco bell at 1 in the morning after the bar. Real life is cleaning your house. Real life is happy hours with your friends. Real life is watching reality TV shows on a Tuesday night. Real life is mowing your lawn while your wife trims the lawn with hand scissors. Real life is vacumming dog hair and being amazed at how much hair is actually on a dog. Real life is drinking wine out of a plastic cup, taking a nap, and morning smoochers. Real life is looking for tickets on craigslist and surprising your wife with them. Real life is being happy with your wife while doing nothing of importance.
I'm no bachelor, and I don't hand out roses to my wife at a ceremony at the end of the day, because after all, this is Real Life....
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