Teachin' Lessons.... TTRRRAAAAIINNNN!!!

Yo-

Ok, most of my blogs aren't about my profession. Most people that know me know that I'm a teacher and a coach. It's a glamorous life, let me tell ya. Ha ha. Ok, yesterday I was on my way home from a summemr baseball game. Yes, my regular season is over but now we have Summer Ball (American Legion). My wife asked me the other day: Ok, so when do you not have baseball? Really, it was a good question, because baseball is literally year-round. August is the only month I really don't have baseball. September-February I'm out of season but we do weights, intramurals, practices, etc. Then it's right into the season and then Legion ball.

So anyway, back to what I wanted to write about....

Yesterday, I was on my home from a baseball game. I was driving on an open road surrounded by desert, near a residential area. It was light out, but darkness was 30 minutes away. 7:15ish. As I'm driving I see a couple high school aged kids on the side of the road. They looked out of place and up to No good. I've seen it before since I teach this age group. As I get closer to these knuckleheads I see they have a rope attached to something that resembled a rock. It wasn't a rock but I think it was supposed to look like a rock. I basically think it was a gray cardboard box. I could see what they were trying to do from a mile away. They were trying to mess with cars coming by. Very dangerous, juvenile, stupid, ignorant, illegal, etc.

So as I approach they have their rope-rock contraption out in the road. As I drive by they pull their rope, nothing happens, pretty stupid. I could have just gone right on by and went to Port of Subs. It was a long day and I was tired and hungry and wanted to see my wife. Yes, that's what I could have done. Nahhh. I wanted to teach these kids a lesson!

So... I slammed on my brakes, jumped out of the car and grabbed a golf club I had in the bed of my truck (I'm golfing next week so I had clubs in the back that I borrowed from my buddy). I literally did this move in 3.6 seconds. It looked psycho I'm sure. I yelled at the kids and had the club over my head like a lunatic. I started a Freddy Kruger-like march at them. The kids were scared s!#$less and I stopped about 20 feet away from them and stared at them. After they wet their little pants and I made them experience complete fright, I acted like I was calling someone as I continued my stare (maybe the police?). I then got back in my truck and did a donut in the desert and started driving my truck slowly at them. This is when full on panic set in and the two boys started on a dead sprint (like the train scene from 'Stand By Me'- see... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4DdLH75GKkc) towards the residential area 300 yards away at the end of the desert. I wasn't going to run them over but they didn't know that. After all I had taken it this far so who knows what I was capable of doing? Maybe I was going to beat them to death Tiger Woods style or run them over.

Unfortunately for the hooligans the desert they were running in led to a wall- nowhere to go. I stopped my truck and stared at them for a full 2 minutes. They looked at me, I looked at them. They looked at each other, probably thinking this rope-rock thing was not a good idea. Well, my stomach growled and I was pretty convinced the boys got the message.... So, I honked my horn, turned around and drove away. I looked in my rear-view and waved good bye to the boys. They didn't move until I was out of sight. It WAS awesome!