Medium Ice Cream, Please....

The other day I was at a Cold Stone. That's an ice cream place not a wonder of the world (although my wife may consider it a wonder of the world). They take two spachelas and mooosh up your ice cream and choice of toppings on a 'cold stone' and over charge you for it. Creative, I guess. But, just like everything in our society, we can't just call this place what it is.... an Ice Cream Shop.

Anyway, I ordered a shake and the kid that took my order asked me what size. Instead of saying.. "small, medium or large" he pointed behind his shoulder (looking almost ahamed of himself) to a red and brown sign that was supposed to be my choices of sizes. Dear Lord, here we go again with this nonsense of having these dumb ass names for things. Instead of Small it was "like it" and instead of Medium it was "Love it" and instead of Large I believe it was "Gotta have it!" Now, I refuse to order like that. Never in a million years should any self-respecting male ever say: "um, yes, may I please have a Gotta Have It Chocolate Sundae and a Love It Strawberry Shake. Thank you." I mean you might as well hand over your manhood while you're there and grab an apron and jump behind the counter and start your career at CS.

Until the day I die I will never order a 'King Size' fries or a 'Venti' coffee and you won't hear me say 'Super Big Gulp' either because it's a large cup of Coke (I say "coke" for soda- sue me). I actually think it offends peope at Starbucks when you say "I'll have a large, black coffee". I mean they almost seem offended and put out by that normal people jargon. Try it next time you're at Starbucks. Order a medium coffee with cream and I'll bet you the house they don't yell "medium coffee with cream" to the kid in the back making the coffee....